The Honest Truth

The first time I held my son
The first time I held my son

While I was in labour I kept asking my nurse why women have more than one child. I could not understand why anyone would go through that a second time. In those moments I was not even sure why I was putting myself through it. She thought it was funny and laughed at me, I guess she knew the answer, she had been in my position before. I didn’t appreciate her laugh then but I understand it now, she smiled but her eyes knew, and she said nothing because I was about to know.

Have you ever been told, “you will forget all about the pain” when someone is referring to childbirth? I think it is everyones favourite thing to say. Honestly, it is bullshit. Who do these women think they are fooling? You never forget and it is horrible. We need to invent something to stop people from saying this. It really gets on my nerves. Maybe I am the odd one out but I would rather have someone tell me like it really is. I felt like there was so much I had to discover for myself with the birth of my son that a little honest warning would have been more appreciated. The fluffy whimsical fairy tales people like to tell about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood isn’t helpful.

I will never forget the pain that came with the birth of my son, I will never forget what it took to bring him in to this world. I do not even know how I made it through that thinking back on it. Would I do it again? In a heart beat. The moment he was out the pain eased and all I could concentrate on was knowing if my child was okay, that I wanted to see and hold him finally. That my friend, is the honest truth. You don’t forget, it just doesn’t matter any longer.

 

16 Comments

  1. mariaholm

    January 31, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    You are right. But many pregnant women get scared hearing about how it really is. Also women experience the births very different. I have heard countless birth stories through the many years I worked and therefore these different women won’t benefit from exactly the same preparatory information. It is very difficult to support in the right way

    1. Apparently a Mom

      January 31, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      Oh i definitely agree but it is a fact, it doesnt have to be said crudely but it should be said if asked. Sugar coating helps no one. If youre told how painful it is and given the resources to help you through it that is more helpful than telling you it is nothing. Women get anxious about a birth regardless, might as well make it helpful and productive, you know?

      1. mariaholm

        January 31, 2015 at 5:34 pm

        Yes the truth said in a warm tone will give you confidence that you will manage and get the needed support through the whole process and even after you still need a lot of comfort and understanding to believe that you will be well equipped to understand your own child

  2. Kitt O'Malley

    January 31, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    I, too, remember the pain, and would have gone through it again, but with an epidural. We decided to keep our family small. Suits us.

    1. Apparently a Mom

      January 31, 2015 at 9:25 pm

      I ended up agreeing to the epidural although I originally didn’t want it. The nurse kept telling me it would lower my blood pressure. I was induced because of my blood pressure among other things. The pain was causing it to go quite high. It didn’t work though, it partially numbed one side and didn’t numb the other at all. They tried to get it to spread but it wouldn’t so she had to come back and redo it. It still didn’t completely work but it was better than the first round of it. Honestly, if I have another one I would try to not get one again. My pain management plan involved the Jacuzzi and walking but I wasn’t allowed to with the induction, I was confined to the bed. Did you not have any pain medication at all?

      1. Kitt O'Malley

        February 1, 2015 at 12:09 am

        The hospital were I gave birth did not have an anesthesiologist, so epidurals were not offered. I was talked out of a intrathecal (walking epidural). I just had narcotics by IV, which just took the edge off. I tried to stand and walk, but had trouble getting on and off the table to do so. My doctor did not do an episiotomy, so I felt myself tearing. I had been on bed rest and so couldn’t attend my birthing classes.

      2. Apparently a Mom

        February 4, 2015 at 8:44 am

        Oh boy, that doesn’t sound pleasant. The one thing I wasn’t able to feel was the tearing, thank goodness. I needed a lot of stitches so i imagine it would have been very unpleasant. I was on bed rest for much of the pregnancy and couldn’t afford the birthing classes so I was on my own too. You did it though! Such a strong woman 😀

  3. Megan

    February 3, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    Thanks for sharing your journey! Motherhood and child bearing is a rough road but so worth it.

  4. Cecilia

    February 4, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    Your post, your words and thoughts touched me. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Apparently a Mom

      February 4, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      That is very sweet, thank you for reading and taking a moment to comment!

  5. authorsbmazing

    February 4, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    And welcome to the wonderful world of being a mom. Yes, the moment the baby is here the pain is forgotten. Isn’t it crazy? And let me tell you: It is the same the second time around… You described it so well. Thank you so so much! Brought up a lot of memories 😉

    1. Apparently a Mom

      February 4, 2015 at 8:40 pm

      It is so crazy, everything about motherhood is though! I hope I get to experience it all a second time around. No, no thank you for reading and taking the time to leave such lovely comments!

      1. authorsbmazing

        February 4, 2015 at 11:31 pm

        No problem. You are up for an amazing yet challenging ride 🙂 I have two. They are 8 and 12 soon. So still little. But one advice: Enjoy every moment. They grow fast! And the moments that are tough: They will be over in no time.

  6. amommasview

    February 4, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Oh and how fast you forget all the pain and the nasty stuff that comes along side of the most beautiful experience in your life… I do it over and over again. Love my kids and they are so totally worth it!

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